How not to worry?

Hello everybody!
Lately something was bothering me soo much that I had to sit down and write a post about it. And you probably already know what it is from the title. So I worry about stuff. And no, not only about school and the future like everyone else does. I worry about everything, literally EVERYTHING. 

I worry of course about the big things like my final exams, that I don't know what I want to do in the future, the results of school test. Also about small things: what if I won't catch the bus, if I look good, that I forget to take something with me that is complitely unecessary. And usually I even take it to the next level.

Do you know that feeling before a school test? Those butterflies in the stomach? Well, you should see me in this situation. I always get very nervous, I talk so fast that no one can understand me, I move around like I just eat 10 handfuls of sweets. I just freak out. And my friends always laugh at me. Best friends forever, am I right?

But why do I worry so much about a grade that won't even matter, because only final exams matter? Even I know that's ridiculous, but I can't help it. I always had good grades, sometimes the best. However it's not that easy to get them in high school, but I always try my best. And it took me to that point, when the grades were even more important to me than the knowledge. Believe me or not, I realised it only like at the end of the last year. So I'm trying now to turn things around.

Want to hear another story? You all know already that I love baking. It's so relaxing for me. But it can also be stressful. I remember one time when I was baking a birthday cake for my best friend Mary. Everything was going well until I started assembling it. The cake I wanted to make was supposed to be a two tier cake. I have never in my life done this and I shouldn't do this a day before. As I started laying it out, sponge, then frosting, then sponge and when I was almost finished, the cake collapsed. I started to panic and bursted into tears. I cried so much like something worst happened. Eventually my mom helped me and the cake turned out delicious. But till this day I remember this situation more than the cake.

It may seem to you that I have some anxiety disorder or panic atacks, but I don't. I mean, I am sometimes anxious, however it doesn't always end up like this. I am just pesimistic and hopeless. And sometimes I already knew that something isn't alright. But I still care anyways, that's the problem.

I have never met a person that worries so much and I hope that I'm not the only one to do this. But why do we actually give a damn anyways? Like it is said that we all should dress well, be fit, be beautiful, be perfect, but who is? I know I'm not and everyone is not too. I think we should all except ourselves and I know that it sounds absolutely cliché, but it's true. Sometimes things can go wrong and it doesn't already mean that everyting will be a disaster too. We should just stand up, put our heads up and play it cool. Eventually we will succed not only in life, but also in our minds. And remember that even if I'm milions milles away,I'm always there for you guys. Internet, am I right?

What I wrote now wasn't my main idea of the post. I planned to write down some tips. But the only tips I can give you from myself is to take a moment and forget about everything. Go to your room, go anywhere you feel happy and relaxed. Or go and talk to your friends. I said that my friends always laugh at me (I'm not surprised) , but they also help me so much with getting through this time, they say many nice things and cheer me up. And I love them for it. That's the people you should surround with if you have any problem. The one that respect you, love you and be there for you. If that won't help, there is always some chocolate ;).

Lots of kisses and good luck everybody!
Kate xx

P.S. Sorry if I was rumbling the whole time, I have never written a post like this, so I'm pretty stressed out :).

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